Tuesday, 10 May 2016

How to write a Show- Don't Tell poem- by Georgia H

On a Wednesday, the girls who are not doing FPS are doing creative writing and we have done some really cool poetry. This one, we had to keep trying to improve it in some way and change words up. It was also a “show- don’t tell” which is where you write about something but don't say what or where it is.

Here is one that I wrote.

I see the whitecaps far out at sea

I smell the sea salt being sucked through my nose

I hear the waves as they wet the sand

I feel the golden sand burning my feet

I taste the ice-cream soothing my throat

I think this is where I’m in my happy zone

Second attempt
I see the whitecaps far out at sea

I smell the sea salt shooting through to my mouth ugh

I hear the click of my gopro as I capture all my memorable moments

I feel the golden sand burning my feet

I taste the vanilla ice-cream dripping down my throat yum

I think I want to come back here

Final Version;

Whitecaps far out at sea
Sea salt shooting through my mouth, ugh
Click of my gopro as I capture my memorable moments
Golden sand burning my feet
Vanilla ice-cream dripping down my throat yum
I want to come back here

5 comments:

  1. Nice Job Georgia Great Poem Hope You Are Enjoying Writing Wile We Are Doing F.P.S

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like a place I want to visit! Lovely poem.

    ReplyDelete
  3. your got a strong cool blog:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. your got a strong cool blog:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi my my name is Teivahnna I am from kawakawa primary school this is COOL! show dont tell poem !KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment. We love hearing from you!

8C